Home Is Where The Party Isn’t

We get it. Dongguan isn’t Hong Kong. the options might be limited, but that doesn’t mean you have to sit around and moan. If you’re bored with your life, look inward. If it’s not them, it’s Probably you.

Woman with empty wine bottleHeeey there, Dongguan! It’s your resident party girl, here to dish the dope on Dongguan’s down and dirty social scene!

Quite unfortunately, there’s apparently nothing to do in Dongguan. Yes, it’s true! It must be true because I’ve heard so many people here saying the same thing! Nothing happens here. There’s nothing to do here. Dongguan is soooo boring.

My poor, poor babies!

As the resident party girl, I’m afraid that means I am the one who must ask the hard questions. My question is this:

Is the problem that Dongguan is boring? Or is the problem that all you people complaining about it are boring?

Seriously! It’s like the only party that Dongguan’s expats are interested in these days is “The Pity Party!” Instead of boarding “The Party Express,” you decided to go with “The Mundane Express,” and then have the gall to complain that it’s too slow and the food is bland and tasteless.

Case in point: just recently, there was a rock climbing party. Something different than just getting in the bar and sitting around. But do you know what far too many of the people there did? Exactly the same thing that they could have done anywhere else.

They sat around on their bloated posteriors, drinking and smoking. They could have stayed home and done that. They could have gone to a bar and done that. They could have gone to a park and done that.

Quickly stealing the immortal words of John F. Kennedy: “Ask not what the party can do for you, but what you can do for the party!” (well, close enough!)

It’s not just this one event, either. I see the same thing happening all the time. Organizers put a lot of time and effort into putting something different and interesting together, and then people simply join to mostly sit around doing nothing!

I’ve gone to large events in DG with hundreds of fellow partiers, but most just sit together in their own small groups of people they already know. They don’t talk with anyone else and do almost nothing that they couldn’t have done if they’d just stayed at home.

Quickly stealing the immortal words of John F. Kennedy: “Ask not what the party can do for you, but what you can do for the party!” (well, close enough!)

So, I’m calling on my fellow Dongguan expats to rise up and declare in one resounding voice, “We will not allow ourselves to be bored anymore!”

Oh, and for all the expat men out there, “party” doesn’t just mean a place where you can go to seduce Chinese women. That’s what bars are for! Amazing as it may seem to some of you, there are other interesting things to do in Dongguan!

If you think there aren’t any interesting events, then organize one yourself, rather than continuously whining about it. When you go out to different events, don’t just hide in your tiny little circle. Move around and introduce yourself to finally meet new people!

I’m not a party girl because I go to parties; I’m a party girl because wherever I go, it’s a party! So come on, all my fellow party boys and girls…screw the poor farts who can’t get off their butts, and whatever the next event we go to happens to be, let’s make it truly legend…wait for it…dary!