What goes on tour stays on tour. Well, not anymore…
Motherhood is a project that never ends. There is simply no vacation for moms. Even on family vacations, the schedule still revolves around the kids: where to eat, what to do, when to sleep. You need to pack for yourself, then for everyone else, and after everyone is asleep, wash underwear, and clean up god knows what mess in the hotel room. Easy it is not.
A girls’ trip is completely different. There is an unspoken understanding that you will respect everyone’s space and idea of fun, and that the trip will be one of unalloyed self-indulgence.
With my more-than-wonderful girlfriends, I recently took one such trip to South Korea. And for those of you that don’t know what goes down on a girl’s trip, here are all the nitty-gritty details:
1) We drink, heavily.
So, 365 days a year I run the world. As a fitness studio owner, I kick ass every single day at work. As a mother of three, I nurture the family. As a wife, I listen and care for my husband when he comes home from work.
But, when I go on a girls’ trip, I am completely free. For four blissful days, I am off the hook. I did not have to run into people I do not like. I did not have a single care in the world, and I had no one to answer to. No kids were going to wake me up in the middle of the night, throwing up.
So hell yes, we get drunk and we get up late. Well, at 9am instead of 7.30am. How’s that for being rebellious!
But, sorry to burst your bubble. As soon as the makeup comes off, green masks go on, hair gets pulled back, and you can see who’s been getting regular waxes and who been growing a forest.
2) Men hit on us.
The trip was all about us girls, outside our role as mothers. We dusted off our usual mom outfits and wore clothes you wouldn’t dare dream of wearing to a PTA meeting. We wore make-up and high heels, and did our hair.
And who doesn’t find a group of good-looking women sexy? So many times, we had to beat men off with sticks, yelling, “No, you can’t pay for our dinner and drinks!”
Yup, we still got it.
3) We talk shit about ourselves and others.
What can I say? We are just as shallow, immature and insecure as everybody else in the world. And for four days, whatever was said was between us. Anything was fair game, from who’s getting fat and ugly, to who’s making a complete fool of themselves on WeChat.
4) We walk around in our underwear in the hotel room.
Ok guys, now you know! Yes, it happened. And yes, we looked fabulous. Everyone was in great shape and looked damn hot. What can we do?
But, sorry to burst your bubble. As soon as the make-up comes off, the green masks go on, hair gets pulled back, and you can see who’s been getting regular waxes and who’s been growing a forest.
5) We do not get plastic surgery.
We wanted to, but we would need at least two weeks and a lot more money to come back looking like new and improved models. And,we still got it anyway, so who cares?
6) We act like we are single again, maybe.
If you have been married as long as most of us on the trip (more than 10 years), and marital life has become more of a routine of who-does-what, then you will understand. When our men get too comfortable, complacency creeps in. That is when us women start to feel starved of attention, drinks, roses and TLC. It’s even worse if our husbands have been mean and unappreciative the week or two leading up to the trip. Show us some chivalry, and we are putty in your hands. So yes, we look at men, talk about men we would like to be with (with all the gory details), and sometimes, just sometimes, lament the ones we are stuck with.
All in all, if you have never been on a girls’ trip, you do not know what you are missing. I know it might seem impossible. It costs a fair bit of money, someone has to watch the kids, the husband might not like it, or timing might not work. But, if you can slowly, one by one, clear all the hurdles, remove all barriers and just do it, you will come back refreshed, happier, and ready to take on the world again. Oh, and maybe, just maybe, you might just start planning the next girls’ trip right away!