Singles: Table For You

0814_Rest reviewThe décor of Singles should win a gold star in the ilk of Western-themed restaurants. It’s sparkly, high ceilinged and smacks with enough external stimuli that it could keep a kid with ADHD enthused. Ironically, it pulls it off somehow. The over the top-ness is actually refreshing; it makes for a novel experience for the bored diner or for the Wi-Fi sucking freaks. But, you know what they say.

But clean paint on the wall, a restaurant does not make. The menu is a 75-page tome spanning the gambit from rack of ribs to salmon sandwiches and every weird mistranslation in between. This is not a Western restaurant. It’s a flashback to the era of “company sandwiches” and iron plate, black pepper sauce steaks that sizzle grease on your shirt, Celine Deon or Hotel California accompanying.

Again, this isn’t failure. It’s a rehashing of the kabbalah, a formula. It’s accidental nostalgia for the Dongguan veterans and a lunch full of smirks at the blatant cuteness for newbies. Beat the meat section hard and skip on much else. The food seems to be mostly prepackaged with sauces from a bottle. The ribs were slathered with BBQ sauce and the German Sausage Plate was Johnson’s bratwurst with hotdogs. The angel hair pasta was instant with an “add milk” sauce. Could still be fun; the eatables are edible. Prices are questionable for what it is. It’s not odd there are no burgers.

Singles is a booze explosion. The last 30 or so pages of volume one of the menu is homage to the cocktail and the walls are lined with bottles beyond imagination. It’s truly a restaurant with a bar, a real bar, which even has happy hour. Aim for the draft Paulaner to pair with the sausages and kraut or the 1664 with something fried. The costs border on bar street level, but Singles’ music is at conversational volume. Hopefully novelty will keep folks interested as this place seems like a restaurateur’s honest stab. They are really trying.

Find Singles Restaurant here.